Wednesday, March 7, 2012

~An uncomfortable stirring ~

     When Caleb was about 15 months old, Richard dropped some bomb shells on me!  Folks talk about men going through mid-life crisis' at age 40, but I think he's already gone through it (unless there are two per lifetime- heehee).   :)
     Richard voiced that he longed to attend college and pursue a degree in Accounting, realizing he should have done so many years before. I knew in my heart that even though this "mountain" appeared nearly impossible to climb, he needed to feel fulfilled in his career (aka school at that point). I felt almost numb when Richard informed me that it would likely take 6-8 years to reach his goal, with working full time. The picture perfect idea of my husband eventually becoming Postmaster at a small post office [his original "day job" plan] splintered before my eyes. I needed to re-program my mind and prepare myself for some major up-hill climbing.
    The thought entered my mind that since life was going to be tough for years upon years.... perhaps we shouldn't have anymore children.
    Not long after, I discovered we were going to have our second child in August- exactly two years after Caleb's birth. I had previously stated I would never again have a summer-time baby, so this taught me to not make "I'll never" statements. I also learned that God has a sense of humor!   :)

     Not only had Richard become dissatisfied with his job, he began questioning the teachings of his church group. He studied and researched several Scripture passages, asserting that we should be living more fully in Christ, not so concerned with unspoken or spoken man-made rules. From the book of Galatians in the Bible, he studied how we are God's children by God's grace & power alone, not by any human effort. Experiencing freedom in Christ meant to actively trust and rely on the Holy Spirit moment by moment. "Fulfilling the law" simply meant loving and serving others with Christ's love.
     Richard's heart desire was to find a church similar to the early church mentioned in the book of Acts, in which to raise our family! :)  I wondered if such a concept was too good to be true; I didn't know what to think. I recognized that Richard studied, researched & spoke truthfully, but I dragged my feet with the idea of changing churches. Richard's dad was pastor- I didn't want to rock the boat! :)  Plus, I was finally getting to know some of the people at church better, and couldn't stand the thought of starting all over with new friends-- again!!
     God was stirring both our hearts, and His truth was uncomfortable. 

   Our second son- Antonin Richard- came into the world 12:14 pm (just in time for lunch) on August 25th, 2001. What a sweet baby-- with dark hair and chestnut-brown eyes!!  :)
    We now had one blue eyed, and one brown eyed boy. My little boys were as opposite as they could be, but full of joy. They were my life, and kept me moving when I didn't feel like it. I felt as if I couldn't talk with anyone who would fully understand Richard's "life crisis", so I poured myself into our children and talked quite a bit to God ("What's happened to the man I married, God?!?!" LOL!!). :)   Antonin was such a happy-go-lucky, laughy baby, and Caleb loved to make him giggle. The most difficult days were brightened by laughter in our house.

       I was a very blessed woman- even during the "year of the bomb shells" [lol!!], and while I wondered what the future held, God had it all under control.   :)

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