Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Midnight thoughts

When sleep won't come.... write instead ...  :)
As you may know, I returned to college again this year.... and believe math is eventually going to kill me. lol! I'm doing very well in the class, and people are fooled that I'm smart. However, the nights following math tests, I can't sleep!!!
No matter what I do (hot shower, foot soak, etc.), I lie wide awake in bed listening to my iPhone's dreamy noise maker, thinking of all the silly mistakes I made on the test. No, it isn't because I didn't study. I honestly believe I put in more time than anyone else in the class. It takes hours for me to get math facts into my head, since it doesn't come naturally; repetition, repetition, repetition is my life saver (re-working homework, review sheets, and problems in the textbook- over and over and over).  Comfortable with the test material, I walk into the math class prepared ... but am always the last person left in the classroom, and marvel how quickly everyone else finishes the test. A few days later, the classmates talk about how simple the test was, and I'm sitting there amazed to have received a good grade for what was a hard test!! I'm thankful there is only one more month left of this class . Then, I can move on to my first "math for teacher's" class.   :)  Hopefully, I'll be able to sleep at night.   :)
The other class I'm presently taking is an English Composition class, which is a more pleasant experience. No, I don't lie awake at night after turning in a paper.   :)
 The exciting thing is that I've been accepted to a University- Yay!! I can't believe everything is falling into place! It's really happening!  My goal is a Bachelor's degree in Inclusive Elementary Education. I presently have an Associate's degree, and am hopeful it won't take years and years to get through school. I'll speak to an adviser soon, once they "audit" my AA degree to see what will transfer over (it's a 20 year old degree, and hopefully all transfers!).
Do you think I can handle a full-time school load of 12 hours ... because I wanna just get through school?  Hmm ... perhaps if I cut back on time wasters ... [I know, that sounds bad ... but it's true for the average American] ...
On days I'm feeling discouraged because of  math (so far, hard work is paying off though), or how lengthy the schooling road stretches in front of me ... 
 sun rises ... and lovely walks ...
... remind me what's important. It doesn't matter how I perform on a math test. The same God who created the beautiful world we live in, opened a door of opportunity for me (in returning to school) and will work all things out to His satisfaction. So ... it really doesn't matter what grade I made on the math test tonight. I can rest, knowing I did my very best through His strength. 
God has a plan for finishing school, and it might not look exactly how I think it should. 
Perhaps I'll try falling to sleep now ....

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